I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize