I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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