He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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