just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
