You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
