there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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