I cockslap morals
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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