everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my being single is dangerous.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
