Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize