I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
