what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
