you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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