k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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