I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
