i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
