if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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