he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
