fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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