just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you never un-have a 4some
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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