I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
