i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
COCAINE IS GR8
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize