girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
