I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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