I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
