And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
