We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
