I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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