nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
