Pappa wants mamma naked
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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