I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
