It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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