eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I need to calm my uterus...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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