is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
