So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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