Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
