have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
