i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
