We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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