ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
high people should be assigned attendants
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
