I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
