is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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