I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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