Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
