dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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