guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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