I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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