I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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