Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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