It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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