dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
