party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
