Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
