i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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