HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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