i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
