why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
