I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
