The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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