his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I understand Curling. That high.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
