Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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