how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
