I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize