I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
