booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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