u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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