My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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