i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
