people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize