when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
