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They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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