who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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