Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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