1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
