How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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