Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you will always have a special place in my vag
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
