at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
