We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
