so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
