I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I intend to get homeless drunk
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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