There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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