If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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