I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
