umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
